I recently had a question posed to me about "taking sides" after two friends break up. Whom do you give allegiance to? Whoever you have known longer? Whoever wasn't responsible for the breakup? Whoever you have more friends in common with? Some of my best friends have come from a male friend's new relationship. I appreciate it when these relationships last, because then I don't have to choose sides. If the unthinkable happens and they do break up, I have to ask myself these questions: 1. Was I good friends with one of them before they started dating? If so, I have to take into consideration my history with that person. 2. Is one of them really good friends with my husband? I know this q

There are a number of lame decisions that you have to make about your life when you break up with (or divorce) your significant other. One of the worst decisions to be made is how you deal with mutual friendships. Most couples have other "couple friends" or mutual single friends that are part of a group. Well, how awkward is it (particularly if the break-up was messy) to continue to hang out with your mutual friends if your ex is there as well. I suppose it is only awkward if you make it awkward, but consider how your friends must feel. Where does their allegiance lie? Are they trying to figure out how to split their time between the two of you separately, but equal? When they host a part

Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a long time and we got engaged on Valentine’s Day. I saw text messages on her phone I didn’t like and asked her about it. Now she says I am jealous and broke off the engagement, but she won’t give me the ring back, even though I asked her a bunch of times. How can I make her give me the ring back since she is the one who broke my heart? Dwayne A. Sorry to hear about your situation, break ups can be hard on everyone. Believe me you are not the first person with this issue. In fact, California has enacted a law that covers this topic. The California Civil Code § 1590 states: Where either party to a contemplated marriage in this State makes a gift of m

Q: I have recently broken up with my boyfriend of five years. In some ways it was heartbreaking, but in some ways it was just time. We grew apart and decided that there really wasn't a future for us as the people we had become. It still hurts though. Now I feel like I am lost and don't know what my next move is. I am 32, single and don't remember how to start looking for someone to date, not even sure if I want to. I am scared of being alone for the rest of my life, though. I am not sure what my next move should be. A: I am sorry to hear what a painful time you are going through right now. It sounds like the decision you and your ex-boyfriend made was the right one. Staying in a relation

After being out of town and unplugged from social communication for over a week, I have decided to use this week’s column as a little op-ed piece regarding a very touchy relationship subject: the ever-so-awkward public breakup scene. The only reason this is so fresh in my mind is that, during my vacation last week, I was caught in the tornado of one of the worst public breakup fiascoes I have ever seen. No, I was not breaking up, but my tablemates were. What started out as a pleasurable evening of watching UFC at a local pub in Long Beach turned into a horrible display of awkward, loud, hateful (and drunken) insults spoken by Miss to her Mister. My party of four had been seated with this

Q: I have a super tough decision to make. I am currently dating a girl that I would consider my best friend in the world. She is great. We have been dating for nearly four years. There isn't much wrong with our relationship except one thing: I am pretty sure we aren't actually in love with each other. So here comes the tough decision part. Do we break up because we can never see ourselves actually getting married, or do we stay together because we fear losing the single most important person in our life? I don't know what to do. I can't lose her, but I don't want to ruin our chances of actually finding someone we are in love with. A: Wow. Seriously, seriously hard question. Hard situation