Mental Health

Proud to be an American

2011-01-17T04:56:38Z

I am trying to hang on. Really, I am. I have not been sleeping regularly for a few weeks now and my psychiatrist just increased my anti-psychotic medication. I feel insanity is just a blink away. I don’t want to go to the mental institution. I never do. Every time I go, I get head lice. And I am afraid. Very afraid.

I usually go to Sierra Vista Hospital on Bruceville Road in Sacramento County (I like their food). One time several years ago, I was quite psychotic and called them up before my mom forced me to go to the hospital and asked what they were having for dinner. I exclaimed on the phone how I loved their mashed potatoes. When I was finally dragged to Sierra Vista Hospital, the nurse yelled at my mom and said that I could not be admitted because I liked the mashed potatoes! It was quite obvious to my family that I was not thinking correctly and would soon be a danger to myself and others, but I was turned away. I was sent back to my apartment and left alone.

Several days later my family could not find me and reported me missing. Finally, I was discovered roaming downtown by the police and escorted to Sacramento Mental Health Center on Stockton Boulevard. This place is Hell! They locked me behind a steel door in a cold room with a single bed with no pillow or blankets. All I could see was people’s heads staring at me through this small window. They left me there for hours and finally realized I had insurance and transferred me to Sierra Vista Hospital.

I have not been hospitalized in over eight years but fear it is near. In a phone interview with the intake person at Sierra Vista Hospital, I found out that you need to make an appointment Monday through Friday to be assessed. You will be seen by the doctor, and he will decide if you are to be admitted. Even if you come in on a voluntarily basis, the doctor can decide to keep you in the hospital for however long he deems necessary. You are to bring only three days’ worth of clothes and nothing electric, no shoe strings, no notebook paper and no cell phones. Well, at least I won’t be able to try and get a flight to Siam (Taiwan) to meet the king like I have done before (“Anna and the King” is one of my favorite movies besides “Beverly Hills Cop”).

I feel like all my rights are being taken away when I am in the hospital and I am being punished. I am not the Tucson Killer Jared Lee Loughner and don’t appreciate being put in the same category. President Obama said, “We cannot use this tragedy to turn on each other.” We need to realize that the majority of people who are mentally disturbed are not a danger to others.
In order to get help and be admitted into a psychiatric hospital, you have to be a danger to yourself and others and not be able to care for yourself, for example, not have shelter or food to eat. Well, right now I have my own apartment, food and am currently not having suicidal or homicidal thoughts.

I have never thought about hurting myself or others, but if I need help I need to say that I am having these thoughts. It is risky to say this, but when I am psychotic I do not know what I am doing and put myself in harm’s way. It is risky because I am using my real name. What if my landlord finds out and raises my rent, or asks me to leave because the other tenants are afraid of me? In the book by former first lady Rosalynn Carter, “Within Our Reach,” it states only 2 percent of all violent episodes in the United States can be attributed to those with mental illness, and that actually gender and age are greater predictors.

I understand people’s fears of those with mental illness. When I was first misdiagnosed as having schizophrenia, I was petrified and thought, “Now I have to hurt people?” Because of the media’s portrayal of those who suffer from mental illness, people are frightened of the unknown.

In 1997, I hand-wrote President Bill Clinton a 10-page letter regarding my mental illness and improvements needed for the mentally ill, such as fundraising and the desperate need for better medication. President Clinton wrote me back. In his letter, he said, “Please know that you are in my thoughts.” This made me feel special for a whole year. My own father, who I have not seen for over 30 years, does not even take the time to write or call me. President Clinton’s letter enlightened me to find the courage to speak on behalf of others like myself who have a mental illness.

When I was living in a homeless shelter for five months in 2000, I thought up my own organization: S.H.E.R. S.H.E.R. stands for Someone Hears Everybody’s Rights, where I write letters and encourage others to write letters to government officials giving a voice to those who are mentally ill and/or homeless.

I always thought that the worst thing that could happen to me personally was to be in a wheel chair, but actually it would be if my right to vote was taken from me. I am proud to be an American and proud of who I am. Like Obama said, we need to expand our moral imagination, have an instinct for empathy, and be kind, generous and compassionate etc. etc. etc.

I Have a Dream!

2010-10-16T01:16:15Z

I cried today. Happy tears, not sad. I guess that is what happens when your dreams are coming true. When YOU make your dreams happen.

I taught my first seminar today on mental health. I have a phobia of speaking in front of others, but I was determined to overcome this, and today I did.

I stumbled a little bit with my words in the beginning, but once I started talking, it was hard to stop.

Educating others on mental health has always been my dream. I originally wanted to become a professor, but my own mental illness interfered with school. The stress of college became too much, and I had to drop out of the masters program at Sacramento State twice due to the psychosis I experience with my bipolar disorder.

So, I found another way to educate others. I lecture at clinics and would like to expand it to psychiatric hospitals and eventually lecture at different colleges about my experience with mental illness and what I have learned from the extensive research that I have done.

It took me a long time to discuss my mental illness in front of strangers without worrying how I would be judged. I know there are a lot of misconceptions about people with mental illness. I am going to change this.

To be honest, I haven’t fully conquered the fear of being negatively judged by others, but I am working on it. For example, my high school reunion is Saturday, and I am not going.

I know my high school friends love me, as we have been catching up on Facebook…but I am not ready to let them see me. The main reason is I have gained so much weight on my psychiatric medications and feel very unattractive. Hopefully, by our next reunion I will be ready, and I plan to show up and hug all my friends.

Even though I was scared to teach my seminar, I made it happen. I spoke to the counselor about allowing me to speak in front of the group. I researched facts for two months and practiced what I was going to say in front of the mirror. I did forget a few things, but overall I was happy with how it turned out.

To lead a happy, productive life, it is important to have a dream and follow it even if circumstances or obstacles arise and you need to modify it.

My ultimate dream is to speak in front of Congress in Washington, D.C., regarding mental health issues. Wish me luck!

Mental Health Clinics Staying Open

2010-08-02T02:41:00Z

Two weeks ago I received a call from the county informing me that my psychiatric clinic, Northgate Point, will be closing, and I will receive a letter stating where I will be able to get continuing services. On July 21, as reported in The Sacramento Bee , Federal U.S. District Judge John A. Mendez said that shutting down the county’s community outpatient programs would cause “catastrophic harm” and violates the Americans with Disabilities Act. The next day I received another call from the county informing me that as of right now I need to continue my mental health services at my clinic Northgate Point.

I am confused. My previous psychiatrist left and I was told that due to budget cuts my clinic is closing. Now it isn’t? Where is the money going to come from to keep these outpatient clinics open? The California state budget has not passed and Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger stated that he may leave office without signing a budget?

I work diligently to stay well. I take my medication, I work very hard on leading a productive and happy life, and I am thankful that my clinic is staying open, but for how long?

I believe in educating others regarding mental illness and advocate on behalf of our rights. For example, as noted in Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter’s book “Within Our Reach,” only 2 percent of all violent episodes in the United States are attributed to those with mental illness. So why are people so afraid of those with mental illnesses? I believe if people viewed us as people with value and who deserve respect then maybe our services wouldn’t be on the chopping block!

My Story

2010-06-23T03:29:46Z

So, it is after 1 in the morning and I haven't slept in the last three days. Not good for someone with bipolar disorder. I am scared I might have a psychotic break and end up in the hospital. After all, with all the budget cuts and my psychiatrist leaving my clinic, I am deeply saddened. I really liked my doctor and it is so hard to find a doctor who you trust and is easy to talk to.

I just moved into my own little apartment, and I am making friends with all my neighbors. My next-door neighbor even brought me a stuffed animal and shared his Father’s Day cake with me. I worry that I am going to have an episode and act strangely, and my neighbors may not understand. In addition, I could be “asked” to leave my apartment and become homeless.

Thanks to the media, the mentally ill are portrayed as deranged people who are serial killers and outright dangerous to everyone. This is untrue. The mentally ill are more likely to be a danger to themselves than anyone else. People who have a mental illness are no more dangerous than the general population.

I have bipolar disorder with psychosis and take my medication faithfully. However, since there is no cure for bipolar, I still have episodes. My last one was two and a half years ago. I was ill for six weeks and I did all kinds of things, like rented a hotel room for five days (which I could not afford), gave all my savings away to perfect strangers, and forgot who I was. I do exhibit some forms of dissociative disorder as well, which is where I sometimes lose time, forget who I am and become lost.

In my past, dangerous things have happened. One time I “woke up” to find myself inside a dirty white pickup truck, and all the handles were removed inside the vehicle. I couldn’t get out. I don’t remember how I got out, and the next thing I remember is I was at Sierra Vista Hospital.

I have had this mental illness for over 20 years now and decided that it is OK to talk about it. I am using my real name and it is time people educated themselves about mental illness and to not rely on the media to give an accurate portrayal. We deserve respect. We are not less than, and our illness does not have to define who we are.

I know God is looking out for me, and I believe I am supposed to educate others on mental health and will dedicate my life to doing so.

Laura's Law

2010-06-14T02:48:23Z

Blame it on a mental illness:

Did the hostage situation involving Anthony Alvarez and his 16-month-old cousin in Sacramento County on June 9 have to happen? Alvarez was mentally ill and not taking antipsychotic medication for his bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. He was subsequently shot to death by the SWAT team and the little boy was rescued unharmed.

Have you heard of Kendra’s Law?

It was introduced in 1999 and is set to expire this month. New York Gov. George E. Pataki signed it into law after several violent incidents were committed by mentally ill people. The law is named after Kendra Webdale, who was killed in January 1999 after being pushed in front of a subway train by Andrew Goldstein, who was schizophrenic and not receiving proper treatment.

Kendra’s Law allows courts to order the seriously mentally ill to take medications that enable them to live safely in communities. When I first heard about forcing people with mental-health problems to take their medication, I was alarmed. What if that person were misdiagnosed and on the wrong medication? But after researching the law, I reconsidered.

Some of its criteria are as follows:

The person must be at least 18 and diagnosed with a severe mental illness by a doctor. It must be determined that he or she is unlikely to survive safely in the community without supervision, has a history of noncompliance with mental-health treatment and exhibits violent tendencies. In addition, the mentally ill person must be considered likely to relapse without Assisted Outpatient Treatment (AOT) .

Researchers who conducted a face-to-face study with 76 OAT recipients found that 75 percent reported that AOT helped them gain control over their lives; 81 percent said it helped them to stay well; and 90 percent said the treatment made them more likely to take their medication and keep mental- health appointments.

If a person who has been court ordered to comply with Assisted Outpatient Treatment does not adhere to the criteria, he or she may be placed involuntarily in a psychiatric hospital for 72 hours.

Although Kendra’s Law or some form of it has been adopted by 44 states, not all states readily enforce it or have the funds to administer it. California has Laura’s Law, which is modeled after Kendra’s Law. Assembly Bill 1421, Laura’s Law, passed in 2002 and was signed into law by Gov. Gray Davis. The law was named after Laura Wilcox, a 19-year-old college student who was shot to death by a mental patient, Scott Harlan Thorpe, who refused treatment. The problem with this law is that it did not include state funds and the decision to implement it rests with counties. In 2004, only Los Angeles County had adopted Laura's Law. With the California budget as tight as it is now, the law is powerless. Moreover, the County Board of Supervisors must determine that implementing the law will not reduce voluntary services. This doesn’t make sense, since voluntary services, such as those in several Sacramento County mental health clinics, are being closed.

I think if Alvarez had been in an Assisted Outpatient Treatment program, he still might have been alive.

Mentally ill man holds baby hostage

2010-06-11T01:50:28Z

Anthony Alvarez, 25, is holding his female cousin’s 16-month-old baby boy, Michael Pittman Jr., hostage inside a downstairs apartment in the Arden Towne complex between Arden and Wright street in Sacramento.

According to his sister, Tessa Alvarez, her brother suffers from bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. She said her brother was not taking his antipsychotic medication which helps him to not hear voices. In addition, she offered to go inside the apartment to get her brother to surrender, but that was deemed too dangerous.

According to Sacramento County Sheriff Department Sgt. Tim Curran, there was a number of gunfire exchanges between the suspect and police, but it was not yet determined if Alvarez was hit. A sniper fired at Alvarez at 9 a.m. but missed.

According to police and the SWAT team, they have not heard any noise for several hours regarding the toddler. At this point it cannot be determined if the baby is still alive.

Alvarez is also wanted in connection with three bank robberies in the Bay Area, a shooting at an officer in Concord during a traffic stop and a possible homicide in San Francisco.

Alvarez’s sister stated on KCRA Channel 3 that the family loves him and wants him to know that they are in this together and “will get through this, and everything will be OK.”

Updates for this story will be written in the comment section for this article.

Mentally ill Woman Shot to Death

2010-04-05T16:01:56Z

Mental health patient Linda Carol Clark was shot to death by a Placerville police officer last week after she stole an ambulance from Marshall Hospital and was followed by police. Witnesses said Clark was in a hospital gown and appeared confused. When she finally did stop, she put the ambulance into reverse and rammed three police cars. At this point, the officer shot Clark.

One witness said that he did not hear the police ask her to step out of the vehicle before shots were fired.

Clark called the police several times from November to February, once claiming that an intruder was trying to cut off her legs. It seemed as if she were suffering from some sort of mental illness and might not have received the help she needed.

A story in The Sacramento Bee said “the real culprit in this tragic, senseless death – the state's collapsing mental health infrastructure.”

I wonder how many more deaths have to occur before access to quality mental health care is considered crucial?
I called Sen. Darrell Steinberg’s office Thursday and spoke with a staff member who said that she was sure Steinberg would not leave the mentally ill with no place to go because of the proposed budget cuts. If enacted, several mental health clinics in Sacramento County will close, affecting thousands.

What is it going to take for these politicians to wake up and listen? How many more people have to end up without proper mental health care? How many will have to DIE?

More Budget Cuts for Mental Health

2010-03-27T01:17:11Z

Once again, it seems the mentally ill do not matter. The Sacramento News & Review reported Thursday that the remaining clinics in Sacramento County that offer psychiatric support and medication may close July 1 because of budget cuts. They include El Hogar, HRC, Northgate Point, TCore, Visions Unlimited and the Wellness and Recovery Center. Thousands of clients will be affected.

A client who receives services at Northgate Point expressed this view: “I am so angered by the prospect that my mental-health clinic will probably be closing. I keep my doctor appointments and take my medication like I am supposed to and now none of that will matter. If my clinic closes, I do not know where I will go to get these services as I rely on the county to provide me with them. If I am not able to get my medication, I fear that I will be hospitalized and even may end up homeless.”

This is heart-wrenching news. Left untreated, many clients will end up in an emergency room, a psychiatric hospital, jail or on the street. Some may even DIE!

In what kind of world are we living?

I encourage people to call or write to their representative in Congress. Go to www.congress.org and type in your ZIP code to learn who your representative is.

For more information about the clinic closures, visit www.sacdoc.org/help.

Dear Sacramento Police Department: Please Don't Kill Me!

2009-12-15T00:06:33Z

The chance of a person being killed by a police officer because he or she has a mental illness may rise due to budget cuts, lack of proper treatment and the police being unaware that the person suffers from a mental illness. If you need to call the police on a loved one or someone you know who has a mental illness because of erratic or psychotic behavior, let the police know that he or she suffers from a mental illness.

According to the Sacramento Bee, Giat Van Truong, a 35-year-old man who suffers from schizophrenia was shot to death while becoming violent with the arresting police officer. According to Sheriff Sgt. Tim Curran, the arresting officer was unaware that Giat was mentally ill, although Giat had been arrested on mental health holds (5150) several times throughout his life. It is also important to note, however, that Giat had a history of violent crimes as well. This was the third high-profile case in Sacramento County in the past two years regarding killing someone who exhibited signs of a mental illness.

In 2008 the Sheriff’s department came into contact with over 1,700 people known to have a mental illness or behaving in such a manner that it was assumed they could have a mental illness. With the lack of funding for specialized training in this area many police officers are not able to accurately determine if someone is violently resisting arrest or is scared, confused and may be psychotic due to a mental illness.

As noted by the National Institute of Mental Health:

Mental disorders are common in the United States and internationally. An estimated 26.2 percent of Americans ages 18 and older — about one in four adults — suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year. When applied to the 2004 U.S. Census residential population estimate for ages 18 and older, this figure translates to 57.7 million people. Even though mental disorders are widespread in the population, the main burden of illness is concentrated in a much smaller proportion — about 6 percent, or 1 in 17 — who suffer from a serious mental illness. In addition, mental disorders are the leading cause of disability in the U.S. and Canada for ages 15-44. Many people suffer from more than one mental disorder at a given time. Nearly half (45 percent) of those with any mental disorder meet criteria for 2 or more disorders, with severity strongly related to comorbidity.

I understand that the Police Department has many duties and there is not much money for training in the mental health field. However, it is important to consider that someone who is not acting rationally may be mentally ill and needs compassion and understanding rather than a bullet and death.

Not as Cute as Puppies

2009-11-04T21:43:44Z

I am shocked, outraged and deeply saddened by “patient dumping” which is a process of dropping off the mentally ill from a hospital to a homeless shelter without proper warning or guidance.
As mental health clinics are closing more and more due to budget cuts, the mentally ill are left out in the cold. They are not getting the help they need and are being tossed aside like trash.

It was reported on KCRA.com how a woman with a mental capacity of a three year old from Yolo County was dropped off by a taxi in the middle of the night at Loaves and Fishes in Sacramento County. She was not found until the next day because the facility was closed overnight.

Who sends a mentally ill patient out the door with a taxi or bus voucher not knowing the exact destination? Who drops off a person in need of assistance to a facility that is closed? And leaves her outside in the dark to fend for herself?

Kevin McCarty who is running for State Assembly 2010 believes that patient dumping is “morally wrong and bad public policy.” He is proposing a bill which will fight against patient dumping and allow for a hand to hand transfer of the patient to the shelter or final destination. Councilman McCarty hopes this bill will pass early next year.

I know patient dumping exists because onetime I was let out of a psychiatric hospital (not fully well I might add) with a bus voucher not sure how to ride the bus and not sure how to get home. I did not even know which side of the street to stand on.

In the Los Angeles times it claimed how some of the hospitals are still dumping mental patients off at night on Skid Row; some are still in there hospital gowns.

As a side note, it was also reported how these two little puppies were rescued from a burning mobile home. Do you think these firefighters let these puppies go in the dark and in the middle of the street to fend for themselves? I think not.

I guess the mentally ill are not as cute as puppies.

Although, we do vote.

Mental Health Blues

2009-10-19T19:49:04Z

Today with the economy failing and people losing jobs, mental health issues are rising at an alarming rate.

What I don’t understand is how there can be budget cuts in mental health, especially now and in California. Proposition 1E (which did not pass) proposed to cut mental health care in Sacramento County by $20.5 million, which would have affected several thousand people who depend on mental health services in Sacramento.

However, my mental health clinic still cut over 1,000 people from receiving mental health care even though Californians voted no on Prop 1E, (which would redirect funds allocated for mental health from Prop 63 back in 2004 to the general fund for two years). This did not stop the cuts to my clinic, and I am not sure what more cuts may be coming from Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I was confused that these budget cuts still occurred even though Prop 1E did not pass. I called Darrell Steinberg’s office and spoke with a staff member who said that Gov. Schwarzenegger revised the budget in a process called Blue Penciling without the support of the legislature. He revised some issues including mental health by this line item veto and is being sued by Darrell Steinberg. A court date is set for January.

Out of the four clinics affected by these budget cuts, the clinic I go to, Northgate Point, has decided to keep me (after I wrote several letters to legislature and the Sacramento News & Review) But what about the other hundreds of people who will not be able to get mental health services there, such as medications and support? I am safe, but where will they go? Many will end up homeless and psychotic without their psychiatrist to help them. It doesn’t make any sense to me at all.

I was watching Changeling last night, and the movie was about Angelina Jolie as a single mother whose son went missing, and the Los Angeles Police Department claimed to have found her son. Only, the boy was not her son, and when she furiously denied that the boy was her son, the LAPD locked her up in an insane asylum because she had made the police look incompetent. This is based on a true story of Christine Collins from the 1920s.

What is interesting is we don’t want to make the politicians look bad, but whose fault is it that we are in this fiscal mess anyway? The mentally ill? Sorry, you can’t pin this one on us!

Christine Collins changed the direction of how the mentally ill were forced into psychiatric hospitals by the police, which was known back then as a code 12. Police officers can no longer force people into psychiatric hospitals on a whim and without a court order.

Now we just take money away from programs and let those with mental health issues fend for themselves.

Sherrie