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Sunday, May 19, 2013
Real Relationships: Friendship > Comparison
by Janna Haynes, published on April 2, 2012 at 8:28 AM
Storyline: Real Relationships
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I recently read a blog about comparing ourselves to our friends or society in general and how if affects friendships. I was compelled to think it through and apply the premise to my own life. Do I unconsciously push away relationships because I am too inwardly focused?
On the surface, women are the worst offenders, comparing their physical appearance to their friends, celebrities and that other girl who runs by their house each morning (dang, she has a nice body). However, men are just as guilty of competing with their friends and peers for a better car, a better house, a better job, or (gulp) a better-looking girl.
Everyone does it. It is human nature. But is this automatic response responsible for the sacrifice of meaningful relationships?
Consider this: What if you simply live within your means, accept who you are mentally and physically and everything that you have and simply be. Be yourself and allow your friends to be themselves. Work together instead of against each other. Find something you are both passionate about and enjoy it together instead of throwing it in each other’s faces.
Do not overspend your means to keep up appearances. Your true friends like you for you, not for what you have. If they do like you for what you have, it may be time to interview new friends. Concentrate on being together, experiencing together and making memories.
What you have versus what they have doesn't matter, unless you make it matter. Friendships are born out of common goals, likes and desires. Women focus so intensely on their outward appearance in comparisons to another woman that they overlook a kindred soul. Where has comparing your body, clothes or accessories to those around you ever taken you? On a one-way trip to uhappyville, that is where.
If you do have the urge to "better yourself," whether it be through your job, your body or just your attitude, make sure your motivation is healthy and comes from within.
Most importantly, don't sacrifice the important relationships in your life for a sense of betterment that will leave you alone and empty.
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If they want to always be the best, or one-up someone, they are welcome to do that with someone other than me ;-). It's just a different level of personal maturity and I really hope that our culture is moving that direction.
I'm reminded of Star Trek, as I often am, where they work to better themselves, not to increase their material possessions. We can't get there soon enough.