Testosterone. Intellect. Art appreciation.

Is that so impossible to find in a man?

A guy who can carry on an intelligent conversation, will enjoy a museum and a movie with subtitles now and then, and has more balls than I do, enough to make a decent move—that’s such a tall order?

Apparently so.

It’s been a year.

A year of online dates, and Wal-Mart parking lot propositions and flattering pick-ups from guys younger than my older kid.

But, seriously?

Where have all the grown ups gone?

My second therapist told me to join a book club.

I’m now happily seeing my third therapist.

Then two weeks ago, one of my best girlfriends suggested, over dinner, as I lamented my latest 15-minutes of flame, that I join a book club.

“I fired a therapist for telling me that, you know,” I told her.

“But those are the kind of men you should be meeting,” she insisted, “Intelligent men, men who read!”

Uh huh.

Anyone been to a book club meeting lately?

So, over the past year, among others, I’ve been out—more than once (each) with two lawyers, a poet that worked (too much) for Intel, and a private pilot to the Fortune 500 set.

Reading was not the issue. Conversation was not the issue.

Balance was the issue.

“I cannot be the guy in the relationship,” I whined to my friends.

It has been a long, dull, yet somehow exhausting year.

Enter MetroSpark.net.

MetroSpark is a new, locally based online dating site.

One of the unique features of the site is the option of a video profile, lessening the possibility that you’ll show up to meet someone who turns out to be 10 years older and 50 pounds heavier than his or her “most recent” photos.

The site was founded by a very attractive, 31-year-old woman named Amar, who greeted me with an email almost immediately upon registering.

Unfortunately, the response from potential suitors—zero--has not been as warm.

I did an initial search for a fairly broad age range, with no other criteria beyond locale, with a less than extensive list of results, which tells me MetroSpark has not yet caught fire around town.

At this point registration is free, and you have an opportunity, not only to meet local singles, but also to support a local enterprise.

You.

And you.

I can’t be the only single person pretending not to care about Valentine’s Day…

(Los hombres con los cojones son alentados a sumarse).

To be continued…